Thanks Andrea and Amanda for your comments yesterday. I really needed them. Thank you Thank you!!!
As I was thinking about why I was in a funk yesterday I realized a few things. One of the most important being this: Lately in my ward and in other places, I have heard a lot (A LOT) about doing the essentials first and then everything else working out. For me the list of essentials is exhaustingly long. I feel completely overwhelmed because the "essentials" are already more than I can handle. I always feel like a failure because I can't even seem to get to all of the essentials, let alone the "good but not essential" stuff. It has been frustrating and debilitating to me mentally and spiritually.
So yesterday, after I wrote my sad, sad, needy post, I went out to get a few things done. The sun was shining and it wasn't as cold as I thought it was and I took a breath of fresh air. I came home with a little more happiness in my heart. I read comments from good friends and pondered what I could do to make the right choices to find more happiness in my life and I made a decision about something. I decided I needed to revise my list of essentials. So, for now, my list of essentials contains 4 things: praying, personal scripture studying, getting the beds made (ideally getting everyone to take care of their own), providing a good dinner every night. That should leave me time to take time for myself and do things that are therapeutic for me (like blogging), and still get other things accomplished. This means that my house won't look perfect which is hard for me to come to, because I really believe that order is an essential quality of heaven and I'd like to have a heavenly home on earth. But I also realize that I have been struggling for a long time to find ways to get my family more involved in taking responsibility for our home. Now I am going to have time to study out how to make this happen.
Yesterday was hard, today is still hard but it feels better. Thanks for listening!
3 comments:
I can relate to your list of "essential" things being overwhelming! And I've been pondering many of the same things you have. Last week I found this quote by Marjorie Pay Hinckley: "We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are." I think I've been trying to prove something- that I'm Supermom or whatever - and it's just not worth it. I like your revised list of essential things. I'm making my own. I don't have any answers for you, just know that you're not alone in struggling with this stuff!
Thanks Leslie for being honest, because it makes me feel so much better. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels overwhelmed by just the essentials! I know they are worth it though, so I'm going to follow in your footsteps, and just simplify them, line by line, right? And as to a little warmth and happiness, I haven't felt a lot of warmth lately, but the birds are back and singing in the morning, so I know spring will come!
I have thought a lot lately about "essential" things that need to be done each day. There are always good things that we can fill our day with, and sometimes not so great time wasters, that we really need to think about what is most important.
In institute a few months ago, our teacher told us about a conference she went to with Sis. Beck where she talked about "essential," "necessary," and "nice" things. She said the essential things the things that will save us spiritually- temple, church, scriptures... The necessary things are taking car of our basic physical and emotional needs. The nice things, of course, are the things we like to do, like blog, read, sew, get pedicures...
For some sanity, we do need some of those things, but I find I get distracted by all the nice things that I like to do for myself, that the necessary and essential things don't happen. I have to make those things a priority.
In her last conference talk, Sis Beck said, "The history of Relief Society teaches us to take care of the essential things which will save and sanctify us and the things which are necessary to make us personally self-reliant and useful in the Lord’s kingdom."
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