Monday, January 24, 2011

Stream of Consciousness Blogging

Well,  it seems that I am not really made for blogging anymore.  I just don't have time.  I have thought of just getting rid of this blog all together and just keeping my private family blog, but I guess I just can't bring myself to do that.  So, today there are lots of things just rumbling around in my head and I am just going to spend a few minutes writing. It will be random and it might be a little confusing, but that's how life is, right???

I just got an email back from our family doctor.  I was updating him on Jewel's recovery from surgery, &c.  As I read through what I wrote to him I realized that I spelled assess incorrectly (leave off the last "s" to know what I wrote).  I am mortified and don't know whether to write him back and apologize.  At the same time it makes me laugh.  I used to be a pretty good speller, ok, I've never been that great but I guess I used to do a better job of proofreading.  Those days seem like a long time ago.  I also used to be pretty organized, another thing that has disappeared from my life.  However, we have been re-organizing our basement.  It's still unfinished which pretty much makes for an open canvas.  I have been dreading doing it, but knew it needed to be done.  It's taken a week, but we now have everything re-ordered and it feels and looks much better.  The best part is that Dr. D loves it (he is the kind of guy who really likes to get things in order - which is awesome).  He says that every time he goes downstairs he just feels calm and happy.  Maybe that is partly because we really fashioned a study/practice area for him.  Anyway, he loves it, the kids love their newly designed play space and everybody is happy.  Now, if I could just make the upstairs work as well as the downstairs.  Speaking of getting things in order...I took all the pictures off my walls last week.  I just have never been happy with their placement and so I am starting over.  The house seems a little more echo-y. 

I keep trying to find joy in the daily grind.  Some days that is harder than others.  We have had lots of talks in our family about how it's not Mom's "job" to do all the cleaning, straightening and so on, but in the end, it really just happens that way.  When you have friends over and the house is a mess, do they think, "Oh those kids just haven't done their jobs." think, "Why can't that woman keep her house in order."  I realize that part of the job is getting the family members to do their part (this means, please don't lecture me on this if you choose to comment).  Order is a big deal to me - it's part of my upbringing.  My least favorite cleaning jobs are showers and toilets.  Unfortunately, I can never get anyone else to do this.  It's me or it just doesn't happen.  I am trying to figure out what I can realistically expect from my children in terms of cleaning.  This means - I have been doing it alone for too long and now I need to figure out what I can teach them to do a really good job with and then expect them to do that.  Why is this so hard?  I am a smart person, my mom did a great job of teaching her children to pitch in - I guess I just need to work on one thing every two weeks with them until they get it.  If you do have suggestions on this...I'd love to hear it.

What does a girl with thick, wavy hair do with said hair?  What kind of styles work best.  I have learned that I am not the kind of girl who can spend lots of time getting myself ready anymore.  When I was in High School it took me an hour to just dry my hair.  Most days now, I just put it up in a bun after I shower.  When I take out the bun at night my hair is still wet.  I guess I am just pretty lazy - I can't stand spending time on my hair.  You'd think I'd just get it cut super short.  I would, but I am totally scared of doing it and I also know that if I cut it all off...I really do have to spend time styling it, because I really don't want to look dumb.  I think I am just discontented because it is January and it's a discontenting time.  I miss sunshine and being warm.  I miss Arizona.  Last week I told myself to realize that I am never going to move back to Arizona and I just need to move on.  Now, I am mourning.  I always knew that was true, but I guess I always held out some hope that it could happen.  I am being realistic now and know it won't.  Is this post getting depressing?  I think so.

Just before Christmas I was called to be in the new Primary Presidency in our ward.  It's hard to believe, but I actually think I will miss being a Cub Scout Den Leader.  Crazy!!  The good thing is I'll still be seeing them weekly at Primary and (at least for now) I'm the counselor over Cub Scouts, so I'll still be involved.  It has been interesting trying to get things all put together.  I feel very grateful for the teachers in Primary and their willingness to give up their Sunday nourishing to fill the needs of others.  This is my third primary presidency.  I hope I can get it right this time.

Ok...time to wrap this up.  It's been more than a few minutes.  Off to get something done!


Amanda said...

I feel so much of this! I wish I had some stellar advice...but I don't. :) Although I will say that I think we're all doing a better job at everything than we think we are. Although as parents, we won't know until many years down the road.

Camille said...

I too wish I had an answer for getting the housework done. I feel like a nag, because I want them to help out, but they never reallize what they need to do, so I'm left to asking them again and again to help. And in the mean time I could have just done the job and saved myself the argument, right? But then I am resentful that I have done all the cleaning. It's overwhelming just thinking about it all. And for mourning over Arizona, I'm sorry. This is the hardest time of year of me too, and I've always grown up with hard winters. I too miss the sun! And, finally, I'm so excited for my kids to have you in the primary presidency. You will all do a wonderful job. Thank you!

Andrea said...

I feel ya on the hair thing! Now that I've lost so much of my hair, I know I look much better with my hair short and styled, but I just don't want to spend an extra 10-15 minutes doing it when I already don't have enough time in the day.

On the teamwork housework thing, I applaud my sister. She is so committed to making sure her kids do their dishwasher & setting table duties each day that she will let dishes pile up in the sink and on the counters until they do it. It would drive me insane, but the responsibility thing is more important her. Good luck! (to you and to me!)

Beeswax said...

If it makes you feel any better, Arizona didn't even make it into the fifties today and it is windy! I hate wind more that anything.

Now, the hair. Mine is similar, and I when I cut it off it just creates more work. So i keep it longish. I also don't like blow drying, so I let it air dry ( is sort of dangerous because if someone comes by I have to answer the door with witch hair), then put it in hot rollers (takes out frizz but then makes me look like I did in 1991. Is too much volume.) So then it goes in a ponytail, and looks pretty cute. Day two it isn't so large and I can wear it down!