So...at dinner last night, Jewel gave me some food for thought:
Jewel: "Did you know that I only have 4 weeks of Kindergarten left?"
Me: "Can you believe that?"
Jewel: "I don't want to only have 4 weeks left in Kindergarten."
Me: "Why not?"
Jewel: "I want to have 100 weeks of Kindergarten left. Actually, I want 143 weeks of Kindergarten left."
I'm not sure the significance of the number 143, but I think that's not really the point. The point is, Jewel knows that her time in Kindergarten is coming to a close and while she's excited for 1st grade, she's has such a wonderful time in Kindergarten that she doesn't really want it to end. This has been an answer to my prayers. When we moved to AZ, I knew that she would only be in school here for 1 year and I truly did pray that she would love that 1st year so the foundation for the rest of her education would be set.
This week the last book order came home. I have no idea why, but it got me feeling a little panick-y. Maybe it's because earlier in the week at our Primary Presidency meeting, we were going over the next several months and discussing who would be conducting Sunday primary for each month...I will be conducting in May - for the last time. I'm sure that there will be other times I will fill in after May, but that's not the point. The point is...the "lasts" are beginning.
We're moving in July.
I woke up at 5:30 this morning worrying about it...I will probably wake up at 5:30 (or earlier) every day until we move...it's what I do. And everyone of the lasts just gets me feeling more anxious. The good thing is that we're moving back to a place I know and people I love. We'll be in a different ward and stake (LDS congregation and regional designation) then we were in before - and so that will be a new beginning, but I know how to live there...so it's good. Yet...I'm still anxious and nervous.
This time around...I think I just need to embrace what is coming next. I've just got to find a way to enjoy every minute we have here in this place I love and at the same time look forward to what is ahead without fearing it. That should be easy to do...right???