I have a new neighbor.
Actually they live a couple of doors down.
I don't really know too much about the family. But this much I do know:
They have a little boy who is in kindergarten (although a different class than Big Sis). They also have a 3 year old who is only 2 inches shorter than his 5 y/o brother. They just got a cute little shitzu puppy that is very cute.
Recently the mom has been letting her 5 y/o ride the bus. I do the same with Big Sis. So...I get to see them twice a day.
Here's my dilemma...the mom/lady/woman/girl (however you want to say it), likes to call me, "dear" and "hun." Now...I'm all for nicknames...I call my kids and husband by many nicknames and I don't know of 5 friends who all call me the same nickname (I heard that...yes, I do have more than 5 friends...probably even 10...so there). I like nicknames. For some reason...I just do not enjoy the woman who lives 2 doors down who is probably 5 - 8 years younger than me calling me, "dear" and "hun."
So...what do I do? I'll tell you what I do...nothing. I let her call me "dear" or "hun" or whatever she wants (unless it's a curse word and then...I'm going to have to do something about it) and I just smile and say, "Hi." I can't see why I should take this one on or why it should really matter to me. It shouldn't...should it. Nuff said...
So...have you ever had someone call you a nickname you didn't really like? How do you feel about "dear" and "hun" coming from someone who is not your spouce?
Nicknames...Discuss...
21 comments:
I don't wnat to be called dear or hun by ANYONE!! Not even my hubby!! I also hate to be called mamm and sister as in at church. Just call me Jillene. But the worst..and a lot of the older sisters do this....is Jill.
I have to teach Relief Society on fast Sunday and I am going to politely give everyone a lesson as to how to say my name. Even the other memebers of the Presidency can't say it correctly. I get SO bothered.
Ooh...you got me. I have to admit, the nicknames that can be derived from my first name were...a source of difficulty. All the way into HS, people would ask what they could call me, and I'd say they could call me anything they liked, as long as it had nothing to do with feminine hygiene products. (There...vague enough for you?)
My favorite, though, was the day some boys were teasing my friend "Tamsen". She was from Australia, which earned her the dubious honor of being "exotic" in our little Daddy-works-at-the-aluminum-plant elementary school. The boys all started calling her Tampon. When I stood up for her, they turned their wrath on me, and called me..."Magazine." Don't ask me why, I'll never know. I realized at this point I was NOT dealing with the brightest third graders on the block, and pulled friend Tamsen into a conversation, and the whole thing had blown over by the next day.
It depends. I would probably just grit my teeth and smile.
haha. I remember growing up my mom used to get angry at whomever called her dear or hun especially since they were 20 and she was 35! :) It just made me laugh but someone called me that the other day who was probably my age or younger and I can understand why she was offended....it's just kind of....awkward?
I would probably do nothing, too. What can you do that wouldn't make you come across as rude? Maybe she can't remember your name so she's just doing what she can, and trying to be friendly. :)
People get my name wrong all the time, too, but I don't let it bother me. Whatever; at least they're talking to me! If they care enough to ask, I'll tell them.
I bet it is a common thing from wherever she moved. I would love to know where (in the south) she came from. I really enjoy being called by my name, so I do understand. I have a couple we are friends with that insist on calling me Deb instead of Debbie. It drives me insane, but I just grin.
Hate the dear..hun...etc. nicknames. And when they try 'dearie' on me, I want to slap them. It's very condescending. Especially when you get older.
Haaa!:) Is she also my neighbor and relatively new to the neighborhood? :) If so, I think there's a cultural(overseas) aspect to consider.
Not to say your feelings aren't valid. They are. But, as you probably are aware, sometimes it helps to understand the culture/background of somebody to realize the intent/meaning etc.
But, I must say, I hate it when people, especially men I don't know, call me sweetheart or honey or darling. EWWWW!! It gives me the creeps!
Sometimes I wonder if the people who use honey, dear and sweetheart are just too lazy to remember or use a person's real name! I don't know why people want to use nicknames. (unless you hate your name but then go legally change it to something you do like!)
When I started teaching school, it was so weird when people started calling me Ma'am and Mrs. (even when I wasn't a Mrs. yet). It made me feel old!
People get my name wrong a lot but I know they are not doing it on purpose so I usually just let it slide.
As far as the "Hun" an "Sweetheart" go, ack! I can't stand that! But I usually don't do anything about that either. Just mutter to myself that "I am not your sweetheart."
I agree with Lucy that it is condescending. At my son's doctor's office, I held the door for an older mom with a stroller and she said, "Thanks, hon" as if I was her teenage nanny or something. Nobody calls me hon except my hubby!
Oh my goodness, I encounter this all the time at my job. I talk to people all over the country, so I realize it's a cultural thing. I've learned to not think much of it when a woman from the south calls me "Hun" or "Honey" or "Sweetie". The thing that gets me is when a man, NOT from the south, calls me "Sugar" and "Baby". Ewww. And let me tell you, it happens all the blasted time.
Is your neighbor from somewhere else? Maybe a cultural thing? I agree with you, I think you just gotta go with it...
I like it when Jaren calls me dear, and hun and honey and sweetie and snookums and cutie pie and princess and the boss and queen and baby and sweetay and little girl and baby girl and whatever else I can make up right now. lol
It is always a little weird when people call me hun or dear. I just got called babe by someone over twice my age while leaving young mutual tonight. It makes me feel special. But I hate it condescendingly and if they use it ALL the time.
Yea, I have a nick name I HATE! Hun, that doesnt bug me, some people thats just their way... know what I mean HUN? LOL
It IS awkward when someone younger lays one of those nicknames on you. For the most part, I don't usually think too much of it. But like some others have already mentioned, it just creeps me out when guys use endearments on me--unless he's totally hot and charming anyway.
I am totally laughing out loud at all these comments! I'm okay with nicknames as long as I know someone pretty well. It's like you have to earn the right to give me a nickname. To me, it signifies a close relationship. So it does bother me when strangers or people I don't know very well call me a nickname (unless I'm in the South where everyone is Hon or Dearie.) In your situation, I'd probably just be like you and grin and bear it!
That is too funny. I can see why you'd be annoyed. It just kind of implies a "motherly" or maybe even a tad bit condescending tone. I wouldn't say anything. We don't use "dear" or "hun" around our house so it is funny when others use it. I'm used to being called funny stuff though. Most people can't figure out my name unless they've known me for a while!
I guess you could take it two ways (in addition to the cultural thing several people have mentioned): either condescending or affectionate. I would tend to feel condescended against because I have issues, but I think you should feel like she really likes you.
This cracks me up. Does she know your name? My neighbor consistantly calls me Amy. I don't say anything becuase I don't want to be like, hello? My name is Amanda.
I like nicknames from people I know. My oldest called me honey for the longest time. It drove my dad crazy.
I, too, feel that it's condescending for people, especially younger or same-aged women, to call me "hun", "sweetie" or other pet names. For some reason it strikes me as snobby, very much like Flo on Mel's Diner, like a hillbilly snob, lol. I really don't understand exactly why it bothers me so much. Maybe I just intuitively know that the person is trying to put themselves above me when they call me that, as though I'm a child to them. I've decided to write my own post/article about the topic after having a "hun" encounter earlier today online. Thanks for your article!
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