Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Boys Before The Man

Maybe reading about a hot high school romance has gotten me thinking back to the good old days. Back to the time when Girbaud jeans (especially if you did the peg and roll) were "it"...when hair stood a little higher...when the social life was the only life.

Ah....the days of youth and carefree livin'.

I had a tendency in high school to develop serious attachments to boys I hardly knew...or at least boys that I knew were a total impossibility.

Take for sophomore year crush. He was a senior, the quarterback and captain of the football team, in my Spanish class and he was also the brother of a girl who only a year earlier had been engaged to my brother before they broke it off. Did I mention he had a girlfriend who went to another school? Yes...this was an impossible relationship and instead of being able to be friends with him...I made him into someone who I could not talk to without a serious amount of blushing - not a pretty sight.

But...the real high school crush developed sometime in my Junior year. I have no idea what attracted me to him in the first place. Sure...he was a cutie and nice and popular, but so were a lot of other boys in high school. Why him? I guess he was just in the right place at the right time...luck him!

Seriously...this was the crush that wouldn't die. I totally believed myself in love with him - yet, I couldn't talk to him (have I ever mentioned that I'm a wee bit shy?). I flushed at the slightest glimpse of him through the day and when we were both in Madrigals (an audition singing group) our Senior year...I hoped and dreaded that we would be partners. I dreaded it because I had no idea how I would ever be able to converse or sing or anything in his beautiful presence. I hoped for it because then...he would, of course, realize how lovely I was - despite my braces and poofy hair - and fall as deeply in love with me as I was with him and then we would be inseparable and live together happily ever after. But was not to be. He and I were not partners and he dropped the group all together after the first semester. Of course he knew who I was...he said "Hi" to me and all that kind of acquaintance stuff. On occasion he even flirted with me - I think just to see what I would do because I was such an obvious admirer.

I wouldn't say I stalked him...but his house was definitely on the "cruise route" that I took with the girls on the weekends. Every girls choice that came around...I made my plans. I would ask him to the dance so early nobody else would have even thought of it yet and I would finally be with him. Somehow...I always lost my nerve.

At one of my bolder friends (who happened to be a guy) said to him...'Hey, why don't you just ask Leslie out so she can get over it.' Severe mortification ensued thus making it even more difficult to get the nerve to talk to him. By the end of my Senior year...I had had no dates with Mr. Crush...and I had also made it impossible for us to be friends. I still think if he ever saw me again...he'd be very afraid of me. I think I saw a hint of trepidation behind his blue eyes the last time I saw him (about 10 years ago).

Now...all these many years later (*ahem*)...I ask myself what in the world was the matter with me! Then I remember...Oh, yeah...I was in high school. I think that I personally fed on that kind of impossible realtionship because I really didn't want to get hurt by having a real relationship (a problem that persisted for many years *ahem*). It's just too bad I missed out on being friends with those guys instead of making them visibly shake at the thought of having to encounter me again someday.

Let me say now...oh, boys who were once victims of my crazy have nothing to fear! I don't like you anymore. I got me a hottie of a husband who I adore. You need not think I still have a thing for you. You were cute in your day...but I found something better. Now...can we finally be friends?

So...let's hear about your high school crush.


McEwens said...

I am glad your title is the boys before the MAN not MEN!! LOL! HS... yikes, ok this is one from JR high, cause it is easier to type, there was this boy named John P... he was HOT! I wanted to date him, so I went to school wearing a HOT yellow shirt with brown polka dots! SEE now you know how old I ma cause it is back in style!

Summer said...

This was much fun to read. I had lots of crushes like that too. Probably my biggest crush was on a boy who was only at my High School for one year but the moment I saw him I was smitten. He was so cute, he loved the Beatles just like I did and he was very witty and entertaining. I actually wrote about him in this post:

Richelle said...

I had so many of those crushes. I would secretly like someone, but be too shy to do anything about it. So funny to think back! :)

Traci said...

My high school crushes followed this pattern: I'd pick a boy to crush on, I'd hear through various sources that they liked me too, I'd be too shy to do anything about it, and they'd end up dating my sister sooner or later. Seriously, every crush. I wasn't ever bitter or jealous because I totally understood why they'd end up with her - she's beautiful and funny and much better at flirting than me! It is funny to think back! I was so awkward!

Mikki said...

Oh my goodness! Great post. You've got me reminiscing. I was a lot like you. Too shy, and always picking someone beyond my reach. My freshman year, I crushed on a senior--D.J. was his name, he played the trombone, he was short, and not even that hot I guess in retrospect. But he was my everything. I definitely imagined that he liked me. He was a bagboy at the local market, and would smile and flirt. But he had a girlfriend. He was very nice. He'd always smile at me in the hallways--until the last week of school. Then, it's like i just dropped off the face of the planet. He didn't even notice me anymore, and I was devastated.

Beeswax said...

I was the same. I started the long term crush in 9th grade and continued it into college. Finally, when he got home from his mission, he asked me out. We went on a few dates and I still couldn't act entirely normal, because of all the years of obsessing I'd done. But...I didn't like him. He wore cowboy boots and had a gun in his glove compartment.
And we are from LA. He wasn't a cowboy.

He ended up setting me up with his friend and we double dated. Then I acted normal and things went much more smoothly, until he went back to his high school sweetheart and got married. Which ticked me off.

Cheryl said...

I had loads of those crushes in Middle School, and maybe one or two in high school, but my problem was that I found OLDER men attractive.

As in, my first boyfriend was 17 and I was 14.
The next one was...quite a bit older...and I was 16.
When I was 17, he was 20.
And then I dated 2 guys my same age (senior year) and they were LOSERS.
So, when I was 18, he was 23.

When I married my husband at 19, he was 22. I kind of evened it out by then.

And it was always feast or famine with me. Boyfriend or No Dating. And I hated that; I tried to rectify it, but I just didn't casually date very much. I did a little, but not as much as I would have liked. Ah, well. The experiences I did have prepared me quite well to marry so young. Who can say they had experienced six serious relationships by the time they were 19 years old? Oh, wait...make that seven. I forgot about the other college boyfriend.

Sheesh! I sound like a sl*t. But I wasn't, I promise! It just looks bad on paper. :)

Chelan said...

I loved having HS crushes because it made school bearable. I think it's seriously what made me get up in the morning and actually take a shower and put on make-up! So, even though they are sometimes silly, I think HS crushes were fun and even served a purpose.

An Ordinary Mom said...

I was too much of a tom boy in high school. I spent most of my time hanging out with the guys and listening to their girl woes instead of chasing them :) !!

Mo said...

Mine was actually strikingly close to your account. He was nice and good looking, but also out of my league. We were in marching band together, which is where I did most of my admiring from afar. Much like your story, senior year came and went and we went our separate ways.

About a year ago I acutally ran into him as a Renaissance Festival. He was performing with his university's drum corps, and was wearing a kilt. I was with my then-boyfriend/now-husband, so it made for a nice little "closure" reunion. Not that I had been scarred for years and in need of closure, but you know what I mean :)