Is it harder for you to feel like a failure as a daughter, as a wife or as a mother?
Today, I feel like a failure in all three of these categories. In truth, I feel broken, my heart feels as though it has been burst into a million pieces. There is a pit in my stomach and it's not because I haven't eaten.
I try not to cry in front of my kids because I know it scares them. This morning, however, the flood gates unexpectedly flew open and my poor little kids hugged and tried to console their mother. Big Sis went into her room and made me a little card that said, "Mmoy I hop u g bedr i nuow dat u uor croune lov..." (translation: Mommy I hope you get better I know that u are crying. Lov, [Big Sis])
I am trying to put on a brave face for my kids. So I hope you won't mind, my faithful readers, if I break down for you.
If it seems I am quiet in commenting and posting over the next few days, I hope you'll know that I am still here. I just need a little bit of quiet introspection and time to think.
Please note: Nothing my husband or children have done has precipitated this incident...they are wonderful and darling, sweet and kind in every way. They are angels to me. Please don't think I am suffering from depression either. There is a specific incident related to all of this, but it's not something I can share on a blog.