Monday, April 28, 2008

Flashback

I'm having flashbacks...or maybe it's just fears of repeating the past.

My freshman year of high school was brutal. Seriously...brutal. But the summer between my freshman and sophomore years was the best...at least for a while. I was 15 & working as the "check-in girl" at the community pool. I spent my life at the pool & I was lovin' my life. All the lifeguards were my best friends (even though they were a lot older than I was). I had a big crush on one of them and wonder of wonders...he seemed to like me too. He even made me promise that when I turned 16, he could be my first date.

Then it happened.


I had the AMAZING experience of going to Hong Kong for 2 weeks. My grandparents were there on a Church assignment. At 15, I was able to see into China, ride on a Sanpan (see picture, left) and just get a different view of the world in general. It was...awesome. I was so excited to get home and tell all my friends about my adventures. I think I had been home for about 15 minutes when I jumped over the wall that separated my back yard and the pool's parking lot.

Something was different. People seemed happy to see me, but they didn't seem excited at all. My friends were pretty indifferent to my experiences and seemed to think I was a total idiot for coming over to the pool so quickly after I returned home. After all...I didn't have to work for 2 more days. Worst of all...my lifeguard boy crush had turned his affections and attentions to someone else!!!

I felt abandoned and the nicely formed scab that was covering the wound of my freshman year was abruptly yanked off. It hurt, oh how it hurt.

So...I sit here today in a precarious position. I have been loving my newly discovered world of blogging. It has given me hope and validation at a time when my life can seem mundane and a little bit dull. But I am wondering...do I still have any friends out there? Am I going to return to familiar ground only to find that my friends have found something better to take my place?

Oh how I hope it will not be so!

10 comments:

THans said...

You've got me! ha ha I guess you're stuck with me, cuz we're related, but still. Seriously, I love visiting your blog, and I'm always excited for new posts.

On a different note, I had an experience a lot like you did when you returned from China. I went to Australia for 4 weeks between my Sophomore and Junior years of high school, and when I returned my friends were different too. It's hard when you're so excited to share something amazing with people, and they act indifferent toward you. I'm glad those kind of wounds heal with time, though you still get a little pang with flashbacks.

P.S. We heard your husband was simply amazing on Saturday. Wish we could have been there!

Richelle said...

Of course you still have friends! We won't forget you so soon! I guess you are stuck with me, too, but I love hearing about your stories and adventures!

Cheryl said...

Ha! I hear your pain. Feel it, too. Your story is all too familiar to me (the one in high school. Oh, wait. And the blogging one, too!). It's easy to forget, sometimes, though, etc. etc. and so forth, that with blogging, people sometimes have to slow down/take breaks/fix their computer and we (on the other side) don't know why the comments have slid...know what I'm sayin'? Anyway...hey! Didn't your husband have a recital? Blog about it! :)

Jeanette said...

Actually, this might sound weird but the other day when my son was pretending to play the violin I thought "I wonder how that one ladies hubby did at that big recital thingie he had." Like how I called you "that one lady?" and your husband's performance that "recital thingie?"
:-)
I think bloggy friends are very understanding when we take breaks from blogging.

Doug & Jessica said...

Oh Leslie at least you have a very good reason to take a break from blogging. I have all the time in the world and I've been really slacking! I love reading your blog and I think you're story from high school is something we all can relate to! You will always have me reading even if I don't always leave a comment : ).

My Ice Cream Diary said...

I just found out that I went to the same highschool as Richelle and your husband. Small world, huh?

I have scabs like that too and used to take blogging personally. It would hurt me and make me sad if no one commented. Well, we are still here. And I would have been SO excited to hear about your trip to China, and I would have taken you out for ice cream so we could bad mouth the stupid guy that fell for another girl!!!

Lucy said...

The other day in RS, a very outspoken woman stated that all blogs are evil...stay away from all blogs...and "I have never yet read a blog and I never intend to do so." Well.. granted she's 83 and bless her heart...stays pretty much within her computer world of genealogy. But I guess my point is that blogging can be a lot of fun. Granted it can become addictive... as anything else can be... but I live alone and I enjoy the fun that it gives me to interact with other people 'out there'...when I'm not on the phone doing that anyway. I love reading how other people live and solve problems that all of us have. Why am I saying this? I have no idea. Your blogging comment just reminded me of a couple of things.

I'd like to have heard your husband also. I have a violinist in a daughter. I love it.

clueless in cleveland said...

Love ya'!

Summer said...

Well I'm around. :D
I'm glad you commented on my blog that first time.

molly said...

you are irreplaceable and still in mind. My husband grew up in Hong Kong. I would love to go there and hear more about it.